Catching up

It has been a hot minute since I was on here, I didn’t realize that last year was the last time I posted on here. I have been through a lot since I was on here last. I became an aunt to an adorable niece, I was scammed out of $1500.00 by my brother’s friend, I came to the realization that I hate my boss and my job and I decided to actively start looking for another job. I entertained the idea of moving to Dubai, I considered dating (I am still contemplating how to go about this) and I lost my part time job. Actually the establishment I worked for closed, so now I have all this free time and I don’t  know what’s to do with myself. The hilarious part is that I wanted the job to end so badly and now that it has, I am bored. I really need to get it together.

All in all, I am okay. I am sticking to my financial and weightless goals despite some missteps. I am trying to find ways to keep myself occupied and I am planning on buying a bike soon. I want to make sure I make good use of all my free time, and even if I end up getting another part time job, I will know that it is because I wanted to rather than because I had to.

Keeping Busy and looking forward to the birth of my niece.

Soooo, my older brother's wife is expecting a baby girl next month and I am beside myself because I get to have a little baby to enjoy. Lately I have been having baby fever, so my niece will either set me straight or help me make up my mind once and for all about babies.

See, for the last few years, I have been on the fence about kids and I felt that as much as I loved them, I didn't  think I wanted any of my own. I was enjoying being on my own and being selfish with my  time and choices. However, that has changed again and I want a baby, so I need to figure out, once and for all what I want. Especially since I will need to make a choice as to how the baby is going to come about; sperm donor or husband...I will either need to make a financial choice or relationship choice. Honestly, I think I am more scared of making a relationship choice, that will be a lifetime investment and committment as opposed to a one and done.

Either way, I am excited about having a new niece. This means another trip to Texas, I already took one trip to see my brother. This new trip will be to spend time with my niece and I know I will enjoy that. Regardless of the expense, it will be worth it.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!!

Making changes and sticking to them

I have decided that this year I will put myself out there, and that means that I will go out more and I will definitely go on one trip this year. I have plans to actually do things around town, maybe meet new people or just explore the city I've lived in for 13 years. All in all, I have been relatively successful when it comes to keeping the weight off and I plan on having continued success by making the right choices, consistently. Here is to a successful 2017...Cheers!!!

Happy New Year! Four Month's Later...

I didn't realize, until I logged in to my blogger account, that this would be my first post of the year. I guess I have been too preoccupied to post. Mostly though, I have just been working a lot more than I usually do at both jobs.

All in all, it has been a pretty hectic year for me. I am contemplating leaving my full time job of 10 years because I feel that it is a dead end job. There are no growth opportunities for me because I am not really interested in the positions available and my boss is so dependent on me that I don't see her championing a promotion for me. Not only does that annoy me, but it bothers me that she is more focused on making sure that I am available to make her life easy, while ignoring the fact that I am unhappy, overworked,  overqualified and underpaid in my current position.

I keep thinking that I need to dust off my resume and start hitting the pavement, but my loyalty to her always holds me back. I know that I could get a better paying job, but I just think that the idea of having to give notice and having to deal with the whining and complaints is holding me back. I know that at the end of the day I have to do what is best for me, and I know this company is not in my best interest, I still shudder to  think that I will have to leave my comfort zone and forge a new path and that kind of scares me.

I am working on it though. I will leave this place, I just have to put a plan in place and implement it in such a way that leads to a seamless transition for me.

Opening up

One of the biggest issues with being an introvert or a loner or even secretive is that you can never truly be open and honest with anyone about all your feelings. Granted there are always a few people in your life that you are more open with, but even they don't get to hear about everything that happens in your life or about all your worries.

For me, my sister is the one person that is aware of almost everything that goes on in  my life, but I still tend to keep a lot of things from her because I am scared of being truly open with all that I feel, all my fears, and all my worries. From time to time I find myself wanting to unburden myself, but I fear that if I let myself open up, the dam of feelings will burst forth and I might just crumble under all of the overwhelming emotions.

As I type this I can barely see and my head hurts from trying to keep the tears in; yet, for some reason, today the pain of the loneliness is so overwhelming and I just want to let someone know how helpless I sometimes feel. I am not even sure of what I can do to feel better? I don't want to go outside, I don't want to meet people, I just wish I didn't feel this way anymore and I wish I knew how to go about doing that on my own.

Still alive and kicking

I love the idea of having a blog, but the reality of maintaining one involves work that I don't want to do because I am too lazy to follow through. I recently got back on track with my weight loss and today will mark the 61st day of me being binge free.

Yes, I am an over eater,I don't want to say I have an eating disorder, but I go through times when I eat everything in sight and because I do not purge afterwards, I gain a lot of weight over a short period of time.

This yo yo weight gain is something I go through all the time and I am kind of stuck in this cycle of losing weight and gaining all the weight back over a period of weeks of uncontrolled eating. I may not want to say or admit that I have an eating disorder, but according some of the reading I have done, I do.

The bingeing is not the only symptom of this condition, there are other attributes as well one of them being an increase in an anti-social personality and keeping to ones self.

Right now I am focused on losing this weight yet again, the other issues that I appear to have will have to wait.I am only focusing on one issue at a time.

Happy New Year!

Well it is that time again as we forge into a new year with plans galore, hopes and dreams, proclamations and resolutions. This year my resolution is to keep up the good work, make intelligent choices and have as good a year, financially, as I did last year.

As I sit in my apartment weathering #Blizzard2016, I think about all the things I want to accomplish this year and even though I have lofty goals, I just want to do well and be healthy; mostly cause my insurance plan has changed to the high deductible insurance plan and I do not plan on spending money on unnecessary doctor's visits.

That being said, I wish everyone a prosperous new year filled with happiness, sound choices and manageable expenses. May our wants and needs never exceed what we have in our pockets and may the choices we make lead us down an even better path than we thought we had ahead of us.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!