Anger Management

I wonder at times if I need anger management. I have a job that calls for me to deal with annoying and childish people and I am NOT a people person. Usually my first instinct is to attack, more often than not my approach to all situations is determined by how I am approached. If I am attacked, My first instict is to attack right back. I do not smile nor am I going to coddle you in order to make you feel better. I really just need to not let people get to me, I need to learn to laugh it off and keep it moving. None of these people are worth me getting worked up and I don't make enough to let the job get to me that much. I need to learn to leave it all at the office, at the end of each day, and start each slate anew. I want to be better and I will get there.

WAZ UP!

I have decided to have a real fun summer this year. I have lived in D.C. for almost 5 years and I have never been on one of those bus tours or any tour for that matter. This year that will all change. I intend to learn about this wonderful city I call home. Right now, the one thing I know that I am doing for sure is walking in the "Susan G.Komen Race for the Cure" on June 5th 2010. Besides that, I will need to find other interesting things to do and I am excited and looking forward to a funfilled summer and hopefully I will not cop out and get all lazy like I usually do. I need to get my butt off the couch and do stuff. I also want to learn how to ride a bike. Sad as it may seem, I don't know how to, but I will change that.

All in all, I am ready to get busy!!!

When I grow up

I would like to have a job that makes me happy and fulfilled. I have this bad habit of being content with what I am doing at a particular moment as opposed to being content period. I used to think I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, but to be sincere, after getting a degree in what I thought I wanted to do, I am in another field entirely and okay with it, but not necessarily happy or fulfilled. I don't know that I've ever had a job that made me really happy and that bothers me. I am young and have about 40 more years of work ahead of me and I am scared that if I do not find the job of my dreams soon, I will be stuck in a cycle of discontent and have to settle for a job just because it pays the bills.

Tiger tiger tiger woods y'all!!!

Tiger finally came out to apologize to everyone and people everywhere are weighing in on it. I figure I should weigh in too, so here I go. Why? Why do I care about an apology from Tiger? Why is he apologizing to his family on TV? I mean how does his infidelity affect me and mine? Am I his wife or mother or kid or in-laws? No! so why the hell do I care about an on-air apology? It is so ridiculous the kind of society we live in, everybody and their mama feels entitled to some shit just cause you are in the limelight.

People can't live their lives like they want because they might do something to upset someone and lose their endorsements. How about we let the freaks be freaks and allow people do what they want when they want to?

And all you celebrities it is time you learned to act wisely. When you choose to live in the limelight, you have to learn to live with the consequences of whatever stupid thing you choose to do. We live in such a fast paced world that it takes seconds, literally, to mess up a lifetime of hard work.

When you choose to kick a photographer, best believe there are a million and one phones out there ready and waiting to upload the footage on the Internet.

When you send naked pictures over the net, make sure the person you are sending it to has as much to lose if shit goes down and make sure u have ammunition to use against them as well.

When you post shit on twitter, make sure you are ready and willing to stand by that post come what may.

When you choose to cheat on a significant other, make sure you can deal with the backlash if shit goes down. Otherwise, cheat with someone who has just as much to lose as you if word gets out that way they are less likely to put you ass on blast and please be slick about it.

Also, don't let chicken heads loose in your house or they may make and post videos on the Internet.

As the saying goes, "A word is enough for the wise," so brothers and sisters in the limelight please learn from the mistakes of others and try not to fall into the shit they are trying to pull themselves out of.

"SETTLING FOR GOOD ENOUGH"

I recently read the article "7 Dating Mistakes Women Make" on yahoo. The article was as a result of the writer reading the book "Marry Him: The case for settling for Mr Good Enough." Now let me say that as a woman, I took offense to some of the crap in this article. Although I am yet to read the book, I can still grasp the gist of the book from the article on yahoo. There are so many little articles out there as to why so many women are single and most of these articles allude to the fact that our attitudes or personalities or choices are the reason for our "situation" in life and if we could only reevaluate our position, we would be happily scooped up.


Now let me tackle each reason, at least from my point of view...


1. We Feel Entitled: Supposedly, when my friends tell me things like "you're a great catch" they do me a disservice because it makes me feel like I deserve the best as opposed to good enough. I do not tip a hairdresser when my hairdo is good enough. I will not pay for a good enough item of clothing. In short, I will NOT settle for mundane everyday things that are good enough, why in the hell will I settle for a life partner that is merely good enough? I believe that everyone, man or woman, deserves the best. Education, life partner, and whatever else they want in life, and if you ever feel that you need to settle then you are doing yourself the disservice because at the end of the day, YOU are the one who will have to live with the decision and the consequences and believe me, nothing is worth being unhappy.


2. We Think We Have Unlimited Options: I may not have unlimited options, but I have options and as long as those options are there, I will never settle.

3. We're Judgmental: Well excuse me. Are you not, by writing this article, judging women who do make one of these "mistakes" and proclaiming that they are single because they are guilty of one or more of these seven mistakes? We as humans judge, period. We judge people by their looks, speech, accent, personality, work ethic and whatever other characteristic there is to be judged by, so why will the same criteria not go into picking a significant other?

4.We're Pickier than Men: Maybe we are, but like I have been saying Why the hell not? When I go to the grocery store I spend minutes looking over each fruit to make sure they're not bruised. Why would I not spend even more time picking a life partner?

5. We go for the Alpha Males: I believe people know who they are and who they are most compatible with. I have a strong personality and I believe that I am most compatible with the alpha male type, every other person gets walked over, so I go for the alpha male. Why would I choose anyone else?

6. We think "I Love Me More": I love me more than heartache, I love me more than settling for a mediocre man or relationship. I love me more than good enough, so yes I know I Love me More.

7. We think he needs to share every interest: I cannot speak for other single ladies with standards, but I know I do not want a man who shares every interest with me, especially not the girly interests. Every reasonable person knows that relationships are all about compromise because we are different people and our differences will call for us to compromise in one way or the other. I do not watch nor care to watch sports and I would not want a man who would expect me to share that interest with him, rather I would respect that he needs time apart from me to watch sports and that is OK.

I just think people need to lay off this need to "educate" single women with a boatload of bullshit and wait until we come to you for help then you can "treat" us on an individual basis.

VALENTINE'S WHAT????

It's February again and with it comes valentine's day and let's just say I am NOT looking forward to it mostly because I don't have anyone to spend it with and frankly I have NEVER had a real valentine's day. It's either been that I've been single or been with thoughtless and cheap men.

I mean, how expensive is it to call and say Happy Valentine's day!!! or make a card for me if you are too cheap to spend $1.59 on one? I guess I have horrendous taste in men....woe is me!

Anyway, I do not know what I will be doing on 2/14/10, but I sure as hell know I will not be getting any chocolate, flowers or greeting cards...Oh well!!! at least the Amazing Race starts that day...

Are you Happy With yourself?

I was watching an episode of "Biggest Loser" and Jillian asked a contestant if she was happy with herself and she said no. When Jillian asked her why, she said she just wasn't. Now this back and forth got me asking myself the same question and my answer was yes and no. I am happy with what I have accomplished education and career wise, but I am not happy with me. The problem though is I really can't pinpoint exactly why I feel like "me" is subpar. I have a wonderful family and friends and people who genuinely like me for me, but I don't know that I like me. I am not a very nice person, I have a short temper, I am condescending and I take immense pleasure in belittling people and I know that people would suggest that I have some kind of deep seethed insecurity, but I really don't buy that.

I have never actually looked at myself to see why I am the way I am, but as I have gotten older I have begun to look back on my actions and wonder why I act how I act. A lot of times, I do it just because, other times I don't even know that I've done something wrong until someone points it out to me. I personally think that the society we live in is so focused on being PC and kumbayaish that they make people like me, straight shooters, feel like we are anomalies. When in reality, those people who go out of their way to not offend are the people with the problems.

What is so wrong with calling a dumbass a "dumbass"? Why should I feel wrong for saying the truth? Why is it being politically correct as opposed to being a liar? As I ask myself these questions, it makes me start to notice that I may not be all that bad, society and it's tenets just make me think I am worse than I really am, so I ask myself "Are you happy with yourself?" HELL YEAH!!!

Are you happy with how you look though, is a whole different ball game.

Reading material

I am an avid reader and I invest in cheesy historical romance novels. I have over three hundred of them and I buy at least five new ones each month. Anyway, I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to read Chelsea Handler's "Are you there Vodka? it's me, Chelsea." I'm about halfway done and I can say that it is one of the funniest books I have ever read and I kinda don't believe the stories are true, I mean they are really out there and I can't even imagine being friends with her because I would never be able to keep a straight face. I am going to look for her other book and add them to my library, but I need to buy my bookshelf first, muchos importante.

Anyway, I am having a pretty low key day, as boring as usual and uneventful. I am beginning to think I am probably one of the most boring people ever. I am excited about Amazing Race starting soon...I can't wait to see how Jordan and Jeff from Big Brother fare, I mean they are not a very bright couple and you definitely need brains to make it on the Amazing Race...

Talking about manic monday

I dreamt that I won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore...that's how much I would rather not be at work. Don't get me wrong, I like my job and the people I work with, but I would rather be at home watching TV. That being said, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride; they're not, so woe is me. I had a pretty boring weekend. I watched "My sister's keeper" and cried throughout the whole movie. I watched "Harry Potter" again, LOVE IT!



I am trying to stay on track, but it is soooo difficult. I mean, last week I went a a bender and I ate like food was going outta style. Woe is me. I think I like food a little too much. I need to work on my addiction to food because most times, I am not actualy hungry; I just eat cause I can. Like right now, as I am typing this, I am starving, but this is hunger cause I had my snack around four and I am closing in on the three hour mark. Once I get home, I will feed myself.



Other than that, life is swell and boring as usual...I wonder what this week has in store for me? One of my new year's resolutions is to not be as aggressive in my driving. Everyday is a battle, but I think I can make it work. I just don't know why I am always pissed when I'm behind the wheel? I could be having the time of my life joking and going on, but the second someone cuts me off or tries to cut me off, or slows down in front of me, I go off. I just need to stop being so pissed, it's not like my home is running away and I need to be more patient; it is NEVER that serious...

THE DAY AFTER...

So I was kinda bad last nite, I demolished enough plantain chips for six people and I did not blink. When I was done, I ate a bunch of cookies cause I still had some space in my tummy to fill up. That is the curse of my tummy. When I take it upon myself to eat, I don't stop until I can't breathe. I just stuff myself, but I will change because I have to. It is not a healthy way to eat.

That being said, I have this new addiction, going through people's facebook pages just for the fun of it. I spend time browsing through random people's pages, looking at their pictures and commenting on how ugly, or not ugly they are. I wonder if other people do the same thing on my page?

American Idol last nite was not funny, I was not really expecting it to be. I mean, it was a letdown compared to last week, but I guess it's time to get serious and show us the people we will be seeing in the long run as opposed to the one hit wonders.

Bad Girls Club was drama filled as usual. Loud mouth Amber got her ass whooped and I was happy to see that Flo did the whooping. You do not push someone in the pool, break their ankle and think you can get away with it. Then she has the audacity to claim that she does not feel safe and wants her gone...BULLSHIT!!! I swear dumb asses get on my damn nerves. I wish a heifer would...I would wipe the floor with your ass and hand it to you. If you attack someone, better be able to deal with the backlash wench!

Anyway, that's my spiel for the day. Now back to your regular schedule.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Yes I am a few weeks late, but it is still a new year so deal with it. Let's just say that I have had an eventful year so far. I had the worst vacation ever. PSA "DO NOT VISIT PHOENIX...I AM SERIOUS, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THERE." Now that I have done my good deed of the year, I can rest easy.
I have also decided to make a change for the better in my health choices and my life in general. I have started reaching out to friends I had lost touch with. I am starting to eat right again and will begin working out on 2/1/2010.
Last year I made a list of my new year's resolutions and I did not keep even one. At the end of last year I trashed that list mostly outta shame. This time around, I intend to go about it on a smaller scale, day by day and week by week. I don't want to be overwhelmed. Slow and steady will win this race. I just hope I can stay motivated.
In general, my life is still the same, boring and uneventful. I intend to change that though. I think I want to go to Hawaii on vacation, but we will see how that pans out. I don't watch as much TV as I used to and I don't read as much. At times I am not motivated to do ANYTHING and that just bugs me. I get bored more often now and I just need to shake things up. I wonder how I can do that?
I am looking to buy a new phone, so that I can stay connected to the Internet and folks in general. If I have access to the Internet and other sturrvs, I have no reason to not keep in touch. I just have to learn to have my phone with me and pick it up when it rings.
I got some really amazing news on Sunday, a really good friend of mine is getting married and I am ecstatic. She is an all around amazing human being and I adore her and I am just thrilled that everything in her life is falling into place.
I guess it feels good to know that good things do happen to those who deserve it. As for me, as long as the people I care about are happy, then all is well in my life.

For those of you who are in some cave, Pray for the residents of Haiti. They need our prayers now more than ever...