Opening up

One of the biggest issues with being an introvert or a loner or even secretive is that you can never truly be open and honest with anyone about all your feelings. Granted there are always a few people in your life that you are more open with, but even they don't get to hear about everything that happens in your life or about all your worries.

For me, my sister is the one person that is aware of almost everything that goes on in  my life, but I still tend to keep a lot of things from her because I am scared of being truly open with all that I feel, all my fears, and all my worries. From time to time I find myself wanting to unburden myself, but I fear that if I let myself open up, the dam of feelings will burst forth and I might just crumble under all of the overwhelming emotions.

As I type this I can barely see and my head hurts from trying to keep the tears in; yet, for some reason, today the pain of the loneliness is so overwhelming and I just want to let someone know how helpless I sometimes feel. I am not even sure of what I can do to feel better? I don't want to go outside, I don't want to meet people, I just wish I didn't feel this way anymore and I wish I knew how to go about doing that on my own.

Still alive and kicking

I love the idea of having a blog, but the reality of maintaining one involves work that I don't want to do because I am too lazy to follow through. I recently got back on track with my weight loss and today will mark the 61st day of me being binge free.

Yes, I am an over eater,I don't want to say I have an eating disorder, but I go through times when I eat everything in sight and because I do not purge afterwards, I gain a lot of weight over a short period of time.

This yo yo weight gain is something I go through all the time and I am kind of stuck in this cycle of losing weight and gaining all the weight back over a period of weeks of uncontrolled eating. I may not want to say or admit that I have an eating disorder, but according some of the reading I have done, I do.

The bingeing is not the only symptom of this condition, there are other attributes as well one of them being an increase in an anti-social personality and keeping to ones self.

Right now I am focused on losing this weight yet again, the other issues that I appear to have will have to wait.I am only focusing on one issue at a time.

Happy New Year!

Well it is that time again as we forge into a new year with plans galore, hopes and dreams, proclamations and resolutions. This year my resolution is to keep up the good work, make intelligent choices and have as good a year, financially, as I did last year.

As I sit in my apartment weathering #Blizzard2016, I think about all the things I want to accomplish this year and even though I have lofty goals, I just want to do well and be healthy; mostly cause my insurance plan has changed to the high deductible insurance plan and I do not plan on spending money on unnecessary doctor's visits.

That being said, I wish everyone a prosperous new year filled with happiness, sound choices and manageable expenses. May our wants and needs never exceed what we have in our pockets and may the choices we make lead us down an even better path than we thought we had ahead of us.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!