"SETTLING FOR GOOD ENOUGH"

I recently read the article "7 Dating Mistakes Women Make" on yahoo. The article was as a result of the writer reading the book "Marry Him: The case for settling for Mr Good Enough." Now let me say that as a woman, I took offense to some of the crap in this article. Although I am yet to read the book, I can still grasp the gist of the book from the article on yahoo. There are so many little articles out there as to why so many women are single and most of these articles allude to the fact that our attitudes or personalities or choices are the reason for our "situation" in life and if we could only reevaluate our position, we would be happily scooped up.


Now let me tackle each reason, at least from my point of view...


1. We Feel Entitled: Supposedly, when my friends tell me things like "you're a great catch" they do me a disservice because it makes me feel like I deserve the best as opposed to good enough. I do not tip a hairdresser when my hairdo is good enough. I will not pay for a good enough item of clothing. In short, I will NOT settle for mundane everyday things that are good enough, why in the hell will I settle for a life partner that is merely good enough? I believe that everyone, man or woman, deserves the best. Education, life partner, and whatever else they want in life, and if you ever feel that you need to settle then you are doing yourself the disservice because at the end of the day, YOU are the one who will have to live with the decision and the consequences and believe me, nothing is worth being unhappy.


2. We Think We Have Unlimited Options: I may not have unlimited options, but I have options and as long as those options are there, I will never settle.

3. We're Judgmental: Well excuse me. Are you not, by writing this article, judging women who do make one of these "mistakes" and proclaiming that they are single because they are guilty of one or more of these seven mistakes? We as humans judge, period. We judge people by their looks, speech, accent, personality, work ethic and whatever other characteristic there is to be judged by, so why will the same criteria not go into picking a significant other?

4.We're Pickier than Men: Maybe we are, but like I have been saying Why the hell not? When I go to the grocery store I spend minutes looking over each fruit to make sure they're not bruised. Why would I not spend even more time picking a life partner?

5. We go for the Alpha Males: I believe people know who they are and who they are most compatible with. I have a strong personality and I believe that I am most compatible with the alpha male type, every other person gets walked over, so I go for the alpha male. Why would I choose anyone else?

6. We think "I Love Me More": I love me more than heartache, I love me more than settling for a mediocre man or relationship. I love me more than good enough, so yes I know I Love me More.

7. We think he needs to share every interest: I cannot speak for other single ladies with standards, but I know I do not want a man who shares every interest with me, especially not the girly interests. Every reasonable person knows that relationships are all about compromise because we are different people and our differences will call for us to compromise in one way or the other. I do not watch nor care to watch sports and I would not want a man who would expect me to share that interest with him, rather I would respect that he needs time apart from me to watch sports and that is OK.

I just think people need to lay off this need to "educate" single women with a boatload of bullshit and wait until we come to you for help then you can "treat" us on an individual basis.